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let me ask, have u ever thought of what it feels to have a cancer ? The moment when dr said
'saya harap cik sabar, cik disahkan menghidap cancer'
bamm! what will u react? nangis? menjerit? or kaku tak percaya ?. well im not sure either if thats person is me.
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Haritu baru tengok kdrama,fantastic, tells about the heroin also got cancer. This drama shows everything, about the patient's feeling & pains, tipulah kalau tak sedih, tipulah kalau tak rasa down, tipulah kalau tak takut, tipulah kalau tak salahkan takdir. kan.
'berapa lama lagi aku boleh hidup?'
'ada ke orang yg masih terima terima aku?'
'buat apa lagi aku nak hidup, at last aku mati juga?'
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But one thing i want to say here is, for each and every cancer patients, believe in God, believe in Allah. Allah will never put you in situation where u cant make it, stay strong, never ever give up life, whenever u fell tired, or u feel at pain, rest, but never quit. Maybe, mybe i dont feel the pains, idk the feelings or i dont even deserved to write this, asking u to stay strong. But deep in my heart, i pray that ull be able to live, live like a normal person. Because u know, at anytime, at anywhere, at any situation pun, a normal person can passed away, even me can passed away after publish this, who knows. The death is all in Allah's hand, and he know whats the best for his servants.
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Theres always a silver lining for every test that Allah gives. Like, u got cancer, u now aware of your death, then u spend your precious times doing the right things. Instead of normal people, they dont aware of their death, tiba2 meninggal, do you think diworang dah lakukan the best in their life? do you think that diworang tak rasa menyesal saat tu kenapa tak buat mcm ni, kenapa buat ni within their life ? Yes ? No ?. But, they cant just turn back time. We all cant.
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So please, live your life to the fullest, do the things that make u happy, within Allah's blessing, for each and everyone of you.
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Also, here i included the notes written by this married couple, i burst out tears read this. :
Somewhat everything feels like a dream, a temporary moment of reverie; thoughts floating with feet not quite on the ground and head is way above the clouds.
Of all days, Allah decided to take you today, on our first wedding anniversary. Who would ever thought, on the very same date after 365 days; that same hand I first time held now would be my last time to hold.
You are still as beautiful as I could remember, your soft hands and your fair skin, they never changed. The same kiss that was once felt hot because of the flush now as cold as ice.
I could not bear leaving you alone. I want to stay, but I have to accept that we two now no longer exist in the same world with different time, different currency. I am pretty sure your place is better than mine.
If you were still here today, you know how much I will spoil you with love on our anniversary. The present that I spent time making now is for myself to keep, but it's okay, we already make a promise, when you in heaven, please look for me, I'll be waiting for you too. You will always be my first love and truest soul mate.
Happy first anniversary sayang, much love from a far, I love you, always.
Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours.
Alhamdulillah ala kullihal.
- Kamal Effendi Kamarudin
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